Over the last few years, I’ve completely revamped my life. The world I was living in was no longer home. I felt like I wasn’t living, but merely surviving. I was unhappy, alone, sad, scared, wounded, depressed, exhausted, and angry. I’m not sure what made it all come together, but somehow I just woke up. I realized I couldn’t keep going like I was, and that I had to make some drastic changes – not just for myself, but also for my kids. They needed the best version of me, and the best life I could give them. And trust me, what they had wasn’t it. So I decided to give myself a mulligan. And now, because I did that, I get to sit here and write a post about the five things that make me happiest!!!
First on my list is my salvation. I have been a Christian since I was a tween, but since I became a mom, my relationship with God has come to mean something completely different to me. I pray almost all day. Out loud. Under my breath. In my head. All kinds of different things, like the serenity prayer (we all know we’ve prayed to accept the things we cannot change!), prayers for guidance, for strength, for energy, for wisdom, for peace. I pray for understanding. I pray for grace. Being a mom means I have an opportunity to be someone else’s encouragement and support. But it also means that I have a chance to share grace and kindness and compassion and patience. All the times God *should* lose His patience with me, but He doesn’t. My faith in God gives me hope. And without Him, I’d be lost. Definitely a reason to be happy!
Next, my kids. If I wanted to cheat, I would split this into two separate posts, but I won’t! My kids are amazing. They keep me smiling, keep me hopping, keep me hoping, and keep me praying every single day. They have hugs that melt your heart, and hearing their “I love you’s” make every moment worth it. I can tell you that being their mommy isn’t easy – sometimes I feel like I’m trying to suggest peace to rival gangs when they fight. They each have their own quirks that require a little extra attention. They each have their own routines, and they each find comfort in different things. They don’t sleep the same amounts. They don’t eat the same stuff. And they don’t like the same shows. But it’s like a turf war over the same couch cushion! However, with all of that said, those things about them make them who they are. It’s their personalities shining through, and I’m very excited that they are secure and comfortable enough to be their own little people. They definitely make me happy!
Thirdly, my incredible fiancé! He’s the most unexpected blessing, and honestly the answer to the desire of my heart. Finding love on a dating site seemed like the most outlandish and stupid thing, but I agreed to try it. Not on the sites everyone else recommended, but on the one I picked. I didn’t date how everyone else said to, but how I felt comfortable. I never expected to meet someone I was truly interested in, let alone find The One. But I did. Have you ever met someone and the minute you met them, you realized that all the static was gone? The frenzy inside, the white noise…it all settled. And you knew when they took your hand that you belonged there? Yeah, I know – I thought the whole idea of that was total crap too. Until it happened. He’s the most generous, genuine, tender, thoughtful, and caring man I’ve ever known. And did I mention that he’s also the most handsome man I’ve ever met?! I’ve honestly found the one my soul loves. That is definitely a reason to be happy!
Fourth, my career. I worked my behind completely off to get through nursing school. I fell asleep studying. I was up before the crack of dawn, and didn’t go to bed until the dark of night. I stressed. I let go of friendships. I gave up “me time”. And I dedicated my every moment to surviving this degree. And I did! Now, I can look back and think “Was it really that bad?”…and then I slap myself and say “Yes you dummy!” So while I may have some amnesia about the struggle, I definitely know that working so hard for that degree was one of my biggest accomplishments, and one that is now helping me take care of my family, and be independent.
My fifth thing that makes me the most happy are my “people”. They know who they are. They are the ones I laugh with, cry with, fight with, and love completely. The ones who never gave up on me when I didn’t call back during school. They are the ones who cheered me on. The ones who smiled with me through every finish line I’ve crossed. We know each other’s weaknesses, know the struggles, know the joys and the pains, and we remain faithful to each other through good days, bad days, fat days, skinny days. They may not all be blood (though some are!), but they are all my family. They belong in my heart, and I am beyond grateful that they are in my life.
I may have stopped this list at five things, but trust me, writing this has proven that my cup truly does runneth over. I’m a very blessed girl!