Certifiably Cayce

30 Things My Kids Should Know: My relationship with my *soon-to-be* spouse!

Arturo and IThe third in the series of things my kids should know about me is going to be my favorite so far!  The topic is about my “spouse”, which I don’t have, but as many of you know, last weekend the man of my dreams – the one I wrote about here – proposed to me!  And as I said, when the man who has blessed you beyond words asks you to grow old with him, you say yes!  So today, I will be writing about my relationship with my soon to be spouse!

the ring

*happy happy happy*

The first thing my kids should know about Arturo and I is that we met online.  Not exactly conventional, nor what I would have considered my “ideal”, but none-the-less, it actually happened that way.  It worked out, so you are not going to hear me complain!  To this day, he cannot even tell you why he signed up when he did.  And I was only using the one month membership for blog fodder at that point since I hadn’t exactly been shooting fish in a barrel (if you need me to explain that southern term, let me know haha)  Regardless of the fact that our “meeting” online was unconventional, we’re happy it happened!

The moment Arturo took my hand to help me off the pier, I knew I would marry him.  I’d never touched him before.  I’d barely known him a month.  I’d never even kissed him.  But somehow, at that moment, I just knew.  Saying it makes me shake my head in disbelief (somewhere my best friend is doing the same thing, aren’t you Lynsey…?) because I’m the girl who always made fun of those girls.

“Oh, you met him and married him in *how* many months?!?!  For serious?!”

No hiding the patronizing in my tone when I said it either.  And now, here I am.  I am THAT girl.  And now…?  Now I get it.  When you know you know.

Let’s see…what else?  Ahh yes.  We have practically ZERO in common in music, except for Christian radio and Hillsong.  He adores Red Hot Chili Peppers.  I don’t think Nickleback is the “worst band ever”.  Agree to disagree 😉  But we can both agree that the song we danced to on our first date was perfect for us – an oldie but a goodie, as they say.

My kids should know that we both respect and serve each other.  Not in a dominant way, but in a “I love you and want to make sure you’re happy” way.  Almost daily, we ask each other “What can I do for you today?” or “Do you need anything?”  This is our way of opening the floor for voicing needs, and slimming the chances that someone’s expectations aren’t being met (can’t have if you don’t ask, I can’t read your mind, etc.).  It is also our way of letting the other person know that we’re both interested in making the other feel loved and valued.  Saturday evening, I came home from work to a gorgeous bouquet of roses with a note that said “Just cause.”  I didn’t expect it, but it made me feel loved because he thought of me.

Now, I know that most people will say that these things don’t continue when you’re married for a while.  And all I can say to that is that I know by past experience that it isn’t common.  But I know that we have made God the foundation, and we continue to look for ways to be loving and supportive.  So we’re going to make sure that we do our best to be different than everyone else!

They should know that we talk.  A lot.  And that we’re honest at all costs.  And that we do disagree, but when we do, we say “I love you more than this argument”, and most every time that ends it.  And most of all, the kids should know that we’re making a commitment – not just to each other – but to them.  🙂

4 thoughts on “30 Things My Kids Should Know: My relationship with my *soon-to-be* spouse!

  1. You know while there are short times where things like the unexpected flowers don’t happen on a regular basis, they do still happen when you are married. It takes a lot of work but it can be done. And having God as your foundation, that is the first step in the right direction.

    Congratulations on the engagement.

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