Certifiably Cayce, Fashion, Fitness, and Weight Loss

You Are So Much Better Than Hollywood

barbie1Have you ever actually read the articles about how these women in Hollywood get back to their rocking bods???  I loved reading them – I am completely guilty of falling victim to the headlines that swear “No surgery – How I Got My Pre-baby Body Back!”  It used to reel me in for the kill every time.  And I would start reading the article hopeful that maybe – JUST MAYBE – this celebrity really did have a secret of how I can get that body.  Sound familiar?  If you are like me, this is my attempt at a reality check – an intervention – for every woman who has, at any point, compared themselves to anyone in Hollywood.  You are so much better than Hollywood!

**getting on soapbox**

My reality check (and current state of irritation!) came as a result of reading an article in a fitness magazine featuring a well-known singer.  The article discussed how she got her abs back after her baby, and (amusingly) how you can too.  And like every other preprogrammed woman out there, I flipped to it thinking “If they can tell me how to find my abs again after that last kid, I’ll be a fan for life!”  But the truth was beyond irritating.  Allow me to tell you why.

This singer listed her workout routine as 60 minutes of cardio in the morning, and then an hour and a half of strength training in the afternoon.  Every.  Single.  Day.  Umm…do any of you remember the first two months of your child’s life???  Let me rephrase: Do you remember how often you got to eat?  Sleep?  Bathe?  Yeah me either.  As in, I’m not sure I did all three of those in the same day during the first couple months!  And I’m supposed to listen to this chick tell me that if I could just dig up an extra 2.5 hours a DAY, I could look like that?!  Talk about unrealistic!  I know I can’t speak for every mom out there, but if I had 2.5 hours a day that there wasn’t a child to be fed or changed or laundry to be washed, dried, folded, or another child who needed to be fed, etc, I HIGHLY doubt I would use that time to do hours of exercise.  Guess I’ll have to stay saggy because…..yeah, no freaking way.

Or the latest reality show mom who ACTUALLY claimed she hadn’t had work done, but instead says she’s “one of the rare few who de-age”.  Seriously?!?!  But we buy this crap!  And not only do we fall for this “I don’t wrinkle” and the “I don’t get stretch marks” lines, but we also start feeling like we’re less than awesome because we DO wrinkle and we DO have stretch marks.  One of my favorite songs from about 16 or so years ago actually says not to read beauty magazines because they will only make you feel ugly.  And my how right it was!

I’ve said all that to say this: You are BETTER than Hollywood!  You are normal!  You are beautiful!  You are REAL!!!  So please, please can we stop believing this glossy magazine crap that says that beauty doesn’t include stretch marks or wrinkles or c-section scars???  Because it does.  Rant over.

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